CREATIVE VULTURES

Lately, I’ve been hearing stories of these mythical creatures. Trust me, they really do exist. I’ve seen them with my own eyes. I’ve seen them swoop down on friends and business associates. I’ve seen them tear apart marketing materials without so much as a nod forward. I’ve seen them instill fear into the most confident of beings with the simple drone of their voice.

These are the creatures that will tell you everything that is wrong with your marketing materials without you asking, and in too many cases make you believe it. They live on your doubt and fear of business success.

So with that said, I’ve devised a list on how to spot creative vultures and how to dismiss them (as many of my friends and business associates have practiced).

HABITS OF A CREATIVE VULTURE:

• Creative vultures lurk on the outskirts of networking meetings (they’re not regular guests at these gatherings, but pop in on occasion - usually late).
• They introduce themselves with a great deal of over-confidence (while their samples provide limited creative ability).
• During the social aspects of the gathering, they’ll swoop in and tell you everything that’s wrong with your business card (brochure, flier, photos, etc).
• When you inquire about their business, they’re evasive as to their core business (ie: will share nothing more than a business card, website always under construction, etc).
• Their thought process is SELL, SELL, SELL (they have no interest in building relationships).
• Their SELL process is fear (you can’t be successful without their services).
• They promise you the best product for the least amount of money (don’t forget to ask about the fine print).

HOW TO DISMISS A CREATIVE VULTURE:

• Listen politely and smile (and move away as quickly as you can).
• Tell them how you really feel about your creative materials (especially if they’ve insulted your creative ability).
• Ask them for further information (and see if they can supply it).
• Tell them you’ll be in touch (whether you have any intention of doing so or not).
• Kindly excuse yourself (and quickly find someone else you’d rather talk with).
• Tell them you already have a designer/photographer (whether you do or not – though this will no doubt lead to questions of pricing).

HOW TO AVOID A CREATIVE VULTURE:

• This simply isn’t going to happen. Just except that they exist in our world of business and follow the cues above.

If, unfortunately, you’re stuck with a creative vulture lurking in your shadows (they either won’t accept that you’re not interested or they just can’t take no for an answer), you may have to swoop down on your own and tell them to shove off. Be brave my fellow business people. These creatures do exist, but remember, you have the final word as to their staying power. They’re actually quite harmless as they usually don’t have the ability to provide what they promise.

NOTE #1: While these creatures do exist, this article is written tongue in cheek (can’t take life too seriously, you know).

NOTE #2: If any of my business associates ever observe me acting as a creative vulture, please, please, please just tell me to stop (eventually, I’ll thank you for it).